Of course, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting all of your children to do equally well in this world. It’s just another day in the life of a proud parent. Unfortunately, in the majority of families, not every child is created equal for one reason or another. Some children might even be dealing with a physical or mental disability, have a substance abuse problem or something else equally challenging.
That being said, it is possible to adjust your expectations for every family member in your household… even the adults. Other parents are successfully achieving this feat. Read on to learn more.
Defining Your Children
When defining your children, it’s extremely important not to compare one child against another. It’s also vital that you don’t try to fit them into a mold. Every child on this planet is different. No two kids will ever be exactly alike when it comes to things like thoughts and achievements.
Take the time necessary to really think about each of your children. Forget what their friends are doing, forget what you’ve heard online or on TV, and forget about what your spouse or partner says about them.
Ask yourself questions such as:
- What are my child’s needs?
- What is my child’s basic temperament?
- Where is my child at in regard to development?
- What are my child’s accomplishments?
Once you have answers to these questions, you can start to zero in on your possible expectations.
Discovering Uneven Development
Every child develops a different rate. So, don’t automatically panic when you think one of your children is a bit behind his or her peers. In the vast majority of cases, these kids catch up eventually. It just takes a little more time.
At this point, you might want to schedule a meeting with each of your child’s teachers. Ask if there’s anything you can do to help your child with any delays he or she might be experiencing.
Adjusting to Different Levels
Assessing each of your children’s “reasonable behavior” also means taking his or her capabilities into account. For example, if one of your children happens to be afraid of heights, you may want to drive to your next vacation destination instead of flying. Don’t just automatically expect that child to get on an airplane and tolerate a long flight with no problem at all.
Always be tolerant of other people’s views when adjusting your expectations of family members. It’s not uncommon for your child’s other parent or adult relative to question your expectations.
If you disagree, sit down with that person and ask them why they feel as they do. Many times in situations like this, coming to an agreement is easier than you think.
From reading this, is it time to adjust your expectations for your family members? If so, there’s no better time to get started. The adjustment typically takes some time, so don’t expect it to happen overnight. But, with due diligence, you’ll accomplish the task before you know it.